Secret Snacks, Busy Dads and The Wrong Type of Sun...

Friday at a Glance!

Day 90 of 2012
276 days to go til 2013
269 days until Christmas
9 days till Easter Sunday
24 days till St. George’s Day
118 days til the Olympics in London 

• It’s National Doctors Day, National I Am In Control Day, Take a Walk in the Park Day, National Butchers Week, National Salt Awareness Week, Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, National Bed Month and Coffee Break Month for Meningitis Trust... 

• Total Wipeout has been axed the Beeb... Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram had giggled at everyone never finishing the course for 5 years now and The BBC say its run its course… So we’ll get the final series later this year then that’ll be it… 

• SOS – Save Our Snacks! PASTY GATE continues with the Daily Star holding a ‘HUNT THE PASTY’ competition in its paper today. And 100’s of thousands of us have now signed a petition to scrap the pasty tax… The Sun says we’ll be £20 a year worse off if the chancellor slaps a tax on a steak bake, yeah but at least we won’t be such a nation of lardies… 

• Looks like we know for sure 2 of the hosts on this year’s X Factor. Caroline Flack and Olly Murs have confirmed that ITV wants them… Olly is "definitely" accepting the offer and Caroline is meeting ITV later today... 

• Britain's Got Talent is back tomorrow and those gay ballroom dancers from last week’s show, The Sugar Dandies are calling for Strictly Come Dancing to include same-sex pairings this year. 

• So, we’re back in a recession, that’s according to this morning’s Sun…Last year we had a Royal Wedding and its looks like there could be trouble with the Argies over the Falklands again…It’s like we’ve all gone back to the 80’s… Now, the classic sitcom Yes, Prime Minister is being remade. UK Gold is making a new series featuring modern day twists as it follows the day-to-day activities of hapless Right Honourable Jim Hacker… 

• In a piece of dramatic breaking news, everyone’s favourite TV anchor has confirmed ‘he will be back’ No it’s not Arnie…Ron Burgundy will be back in a sequel to Anchorman. The crimson-clad newsreader made the announcement himself on Twitter yesterday afternoon after a few leaks in the papers… 

• ANNE ROBINSON: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990? Contestant: Blonde Tart. That is just one of the dumb answers on The Weakest Link, which is bowing out tomorrow after 12 years and 1,693 episodes. The show, presented by Anne Robinson, has become as famous for the blunders as it is for Anne’s put downs. 

• All our PANIC-buying of petrol they reckon has brought in more than £32million in EXTRA fuel excise duty. The AA calculated the figure after news that petrol sales shot up by 81% yesterday and diesel by 63% as we flocked to the garages to fill up… But if you didn’t, don’t worry. There isn’t going to be a strike this side of Easter by fuel tanker drivers – they need to give a week’s notice and they haven’t… 

• The Future King could see you’re crown jewels before he gets his hands on his own… Newborough Beach on Anglesey, near Wills and Kate’s house could become a nudist centre…On Anglesey? You'd make more money selling warm clothing!!!! 

• Baggage handlers at London's Stansted Airport are to strike on Good Friday, Easter Saturday and Easter Monday, the GMB union announced last night. 

• Now it's the wrong kind of sun! Train companies have told drivers to slow down because 'hot weather is heating up tracks' 

Wentworth and Dearne MP John Healey is backing a campaign which could see thousands of people get a better energy deal. More than 200,000 residents have already signed up to the 'Big Switch' campaign. Mr Healey has been campaigning for clearer and fairer energy bills - he's raised the issue in the House of Commons. 

Buses in South Yorkshire will soon be quicker, smarter and smoother. The Passenger Transport Executive's been given millions of pounds to make improvements. £4.91 million will be spent on areas of high employment across the region to improve access. 

School Test...

Today’s homework question is on Science... 

Where in or on your body would you find a lunula?  

The answer to yesterday’s question... What device is used for drawing and measuring angles? was a protractor. 

Rod’s Unsolved Mysteries of the Cosmos #58… Why is it that the best thing about being an adult is that you can be as childish as you want? 

All our PANIC-buying of petrol they reckon has brought in more than £32million in EXTRA fuel excise duty. The AA calculated the figure after news that petrol sales shot up by 81% yesterday and diesel by 63% as we flocked to the garages to fill up… But if you didn’t, don’t worry. There isn’t going to be a strike this side of Easter by fuel tanker drivers. The tankers union have to give a week’s notice of a strike, they haven’t, it’s a bank holiday on Friday and Monday so it’s not going to happen till after Easter. BUT!!! I've just been down the High Street and people have started panic buying pasties now at Greggs… Hurry while stocks last! Halfords have told us they’ve seen "extraordinary high" sales of fuel cans after that minister told us to ‘fill up a jerry can’. Sales went up by 225% compared with this time last year. Do you think if the government said ‘send us all your cash – or the number 10 cat gets it’ we would?? Got to be honest – all this talk of fuel price rises hasn’t really affected me yet. I only ever put a tenner in… I still only put a tenner in...My car though, I think it needs seeing to…It doesn’t seem to go as far on it lately…

 Now it's the wrong kind of sun! Train companies have told drivers to slow down because 'hot weather is heating up tracks’. Network Rail has imposed a 20mph speed restriction across a stretch of line in the West Country because of the heatwave. They say the sun could have an effect on the tracks. So much for High Speed Trains! Looks like we’ll only be able to use them in the early Spring…In the summer the lines buckle, in the winter the points freeze, in the autumn, leaves on the line...

PRINCE Philip returned to form yesterday with a mildly politically incorrect remark…As thousands of well-wishers turned out to greet the Queen on a tour of London for her Diamond Jubilee he noticed someone on a mobility scooter in the crowd with a bunch of daffodils for the Queen. He wandered over to the disabled man on his mobility scooter and asked: "How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?” The BBC is planning a special show ‘behind the scenes at Buck House’ with an interview from the Duke on it soon… 

So….One in five said they felt the same thrill as if they were infatuated with a new lover. And more than a third were so besotted with their new dream home they couldn’t get it out of their minds. 5% confessed their heart beat faster whenever they thought of it. But when it doesn’t happen, we feel the same distress as a break up. One in 8 say they went through misery and despair, while 2% lose their appetite. And 13 % actually admitted they felt as if they had been dumped. 

WHAT IS IT??! 

POTENTIAL buyers really do "fall in love” with homes they’ve set their hearts on, a new survey claims today. More than half (56 %) of us who put in an offer on a house in the past year displayed at least one symptom of love towards it... 

WWW – in my house it stands for the ‘WORLD WIDE WAIT’ BUT! Could there be a speed boost for the whole web on the way? Microsoft and Google are working on new technology that will 'supercharge' every site we’re being told this morning. The Internet Engineering Task Force is meeting today to discuss how to 'update' the ageing 'HTTP' protocol that underlies the entire World Wide Web. I’ve already found a way to make the internet got 3 times faster…And make browsing much faster… Just uninstall Internet Explorer. 

FATHERS of young boys now spend less than an hour a day with their sons, according to a new survey. Many dads simply rely on phone calls or texts to keep in touch. Almost all those with sons aged between five and 10 say they regret not spending enough "quality time” together, such as playing football or riding bikes. Nearly half (48 %) blame their long and exhausting working hours, with 35 % saying work eats into their weekends. As a result, men typically spend just 56 minutes a day together with their young sons, even taking into account Saturdays and Sundays. Alarmingly, nearly a fifth (18 %) told the survey by toy manufacturer Bandai they manage only 15 minutes each day.

Rise of the secret snackers! One in three women have confessed that they eat in secret - and even HIDE food from their partners. 33% say they scoff in secret, usually last thing at night or before hubby has got out of bed. The most common place to hide chocolate and snacks? In her shoes under the bed! 

Chris Nixon from Town had a go at identifying the Mystery Voice this morning! She suggested Sir Antony Hopkins...it wasn’t right so the prizes roll on to 8:35 on Monday morning!

That’s it from me for a week or so...Joe Sentance will be looking after the show for the next week while I head for the sun! Have a fabulous Easter and I’ll catch you all refreshed from my holiday on Tuesday April 10!